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Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Skinny people wouldn't understand

And they say they do.  But they don't.  They can't.
They may have to worry about 5 or even 15 pounds.  Heck, they may have to lose 30 to fit into their favorite jeans perfectly, but how could they possibly understand having to lose 1/2 of their body weight?  Having to look at the scale (and one's body) and think, "There are two people standing here.  One of them is completely unwanted, and yet, I can't push to get rid of it.  Is this person getting in the way of my job/career?  Is this person hindering my personal relationships?  I know my husband/lover/etc loves me, but is this person preventing us from being more intimate?"  These are horrible things to cross through one's mind.  And I think even the most self-confident person who is significantly overweight will have these things run through their consciousness at some time or another.

Lord knows I'm not the most self-confident.

Total, I've lost the equivalent of a child.  About 60 odd pounds - roughly a girl in the 50th percentile at age 8 or 9.  Just since starting the HCG, I've lost about 22 pounds - 50th percentile girl at age 15 months.  I'm hoping to have lost almost a 5 year old by the time I'm finished with this round of HCG.  It kind of helps to put it in perspective, y'know?  I've lost 10 bags of sugar this time around, or 7 cans of Crisco.  I found this forum and it's got several great comparisons. 
I've got to try and get rid of a third grader with a full backpack...  Kind of ANTI-Pied Piper...

Today, one of the things a skinny person could never get happened to me.  A good thing.
I wore a pair of pants that I have to be cautious with:  the waistband rolled everytime I wore them.  I had to be careful to wear longer shirts to cover the waistband roll & to adjust my pants everytime I stood up or sat down.  I was embarrassed at myself everytime I went to the bathroom and saw how many creases they were leaving in my belly & that the band had rolled again.  Today, I was teaching... teaching... teaching and finally got to run to the bathroom (anyone who gets to potty anytime they feel like it has NO idea what a luxury that is) where I noticed that my waistband had stayed in place.  No rolling.  So I checked it periodically throughout my day.  It never even rolled once.  I nearly cried.

A skinny person wouldn't get that, would they?

food log:
chicken & cucumber for lunch: 146 calories, orange: 62, dinner: chicken and a pickle: 140 calories, 1 cup frozen strawberries: 52 caloris.  Total for day: 400 calories. 
And today I weighed in at 202.6.  I'm really excited about it - pants and all!

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